Thank you Bridget Jones for this cracking title for a man who is boob obsessed!!

I’ve been chatting online to a guy who I have a mutual friend with (notice a pattern in how I tend to meet single men!!). We had had some chats about flirting and how some people can misinterpret compliments and general ‘nice-ness’ for flirting when he asked me a question: ‘What cup size are you?’

EXCUSE ME???!!!!

The conversation went on to the fact he is a boob man, preferring boobs a c-cup or above, aswell as liking nice legs and a peachy bum, so basically the whole package. I made it clear my boobs would be a disappointment to him. They don’t measure up.

I have always had small boobs but since breastfeeding my 2 children they have changed shape also. I describe them as a couple of empty tea bags. So, boob- size is a sensitive area for me and probably my biggest insecurity about my body.

I spoke to some female and male friends about this, all horrified he would ask. I even mentioned it to my parents, stating that all men like boobs. My Dad, my hero, the man in my life who taught me how a man should treat a woman (through the impeccable way he treats my mother) agreed with me. “Yeah that’s true…we all love boobs and sometimes size does matter!!”. (insert crying face here ;-( )

This chat with ‘tits-pervert’ as I will now refer to him as, did not however put me off wanting to see him. In fact, it made me want to meet him more. Mainly so I could have a chat with him about it and perhaps make him feel a little bit uncomfortable. The chances of him fancying me and my small boobs was slim so i could at least prepare myself for that.

So we arranged a date. I was quite concerned about what to wear so as to make my boobs appealing. Having changed my top a few times I decided that ‘I am what I am’ and if he doesn’t like what he sees it is of no great loss to me. So I wore a top that I felt comfortable in and off I went.

The date was going well, we were having good conversation so when we sat down in a restaurant I decided to bring up the subject of boob size. I surprised myself at how chilled out I was about it. I explained that I admired his honesty and guts in asking me but that it did raise some inferiority complex in me and that it would be the equivalent of me asking him his dick size and that if it wasn’t 10 inches, he didn’t measure up. He argued (in a jokey way) that its different to dick size as boobs can be seen and dicks can’t. I explained that in terms of sexual pleasure, a woman might find the size of a man’s member equally as important as a man finds the size of a woman’s boobs.

The conversation continued for a few more minutes and I thought he took it in good stead. We had a laugh about it. Being a man trying to dig himself out of a hole he said that he had asked me the question as a way of assessing my sense of humour and that he doesn’t really have a requirement for a c-cup or above. That many things make a woman sexy blah blah blah.

So, in conclusion, men love boobs. Most men are tits perverts. When you have small boobs like me this does cause some problems in the dating world. My hopes are fading. Not only do I have the somewhat impossible task of finding my prince, now I have to find one who isn’t a tits pervert in the image focussed, silicone, porn star drenched society!