Back in November last year I’d been out for a friends birthday, it was the night I learnt about IOI’s (see previous blog post). Overall it was a great night and despite letting myself down by wimping out with the very hot IOI I had received, I went onto another club and managed to get chatting to another hot guy. We danced, chatted, “air guitared” together, he got on well with my friend and her husband. I was thinking that this man was pretty decent, he was the type of sociable, fun guy I had been dreaming of. Although I’m not totally naive, I took it for what it was, someone nice to spend some time with for the evening. 

I told him it was time for me to leave and take my friends home, he gave me his number ( which I had no intention of ever using) and then grabbed my phone off me and rang himself with it so that he had my number. Not what I planned but not the end of the world. I liked him and so would quite like to see him again if he wanted to take me out on a date. 

As I was leaving he said “where’s my lift home?”, I knew what he meant and so replied “I don’t do one night stands”, he responded “what if it was more than one night?”. I left pretty certain that if he remembered me in the morning, I would hear from him again. 

Later that night I did. 

The next day I did. 

He asked me what I’d been up to etc and then as conversation went on he suggested we have some adult fun. That I was a good kisser and he knew by that that the sex would be great! (Wonderful compliment but the imagination is a mysterious thing and sometimes makes things out to be more than they really are). So, I told him I dont do casual and if that’s what he’s after then he needs to look elsewhere. He agreed and so we left on good terms. 

Then it came (pun intended), a couple of days later I received my first dick pic. 

I know dick pics happen, I’d heard of them, I even did a lecture once on ‘sexting’ and the effect it has on the young people that mostly do it. That’s why I was surprised, I thought this was something kids did, young teenagers hoping to impress someone they fancy. Apparently not. 

I was intrigued. To be fair it was a pretty impressive sight. 

Conversation continued and I made it clear that I wanted a relationship with someone, that sex is a big deal to me. That we wanted different things from love and life. I want to be taken out and treated like a lady, not called upon when he gets the horn. He agreed and said he’d leave me alone.

He didn’t. 

Every now and then I would get a message from him. He was explicit. Telling me what he’d like to do to me. How he could come round now and give me the time of my life. It got boring and I mostly ignored it. 

I got another dick pic after several months of not hearing from him. When I’d heard from him before it was usually late evening. This time it was tea time and my kids could have seen it flash up on my phone! I was pissed off. 

Again, I told him it wasn’t happening. He said he would delete the conversation from whatsapp and my number so I wouldn’t hear from him again. He was true to his word.

“Dick pic” as he’s known amongst my friends has given me and the girls some laughs. In a funny sort of way he also gave me hope, hope that someone could find me sexual enough to apparently want me like I haven’t been wanted in years, even if it is only on a physical level. 

Fast forward to now and I’m on holiday with my kids when Facebook messenger tells me I have 4 messages from someone who isn’t on my friends list:

WWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not only has this guy found me on Facebook (how when he only knew my first name?) but he’s been sending me messages I didn’t know about for months. Man, I must be a great kisser for him to still be thinking of me now! Either that or he’s a sad desperado. It’s probably the latter but I’m going to pretend it’s the former. 

So I’ll ignore these messages, I’m better than that.