I like whatsapp, it’s a great way to share media for free (with a wifi connection), to have group chats with various social circles, to casually check up on when a person was last online (yes, I think I do have slight stalker tendencies). So there in lies the problem with whatsapp, unless you or the other party has disabled the function where you can see if a person has read your message, when they were last online etc, it has been known to cause some mild paranoia. 

Example. I’ve been away for a couple of days so had arranged for the guy I’ve been seeing to pop round tonight for a catch up. He basically only uses whatsapp. When we arranged the ‘date’ he said he wouldn’t stay late so I wasn’t surprised or disappointed when just after 10pm he says he needs to go as he’s tired, he gets up early for work and is working long days at the moment. 

I’m tired after a long drive home today so I’m fine with this. I’m getting ready for bed and I look at whatsapp. I see he’s online. It’s now 10.45. He wanted an early night right? It goes on, I keep checking, he’s online, he’s offline, he’s back online. My mind starts to race; who is he talking to? Why isn’t he trying to sleep like he said he needed to? Why hasn’t he sent me a message if he’s online? Basically, why aren’t I the centre of the universe????!!!!! It’s now after 11pm and the last time he was online was 10.58. Ok, so now I’m writing this I know I sound like a crazy stalker but I do have trust issues, I’m aware of this and try not to show it. As I’ve said before I “hide the crazy”. 

I did this quite well tonight in conversation with him when I asked what he had done last night (having clocked on whatsapp that he wasn’t online from 7pm, but had then sent me a message at 11pm). Several hours of no whatsapp action is unheard of. His whole life is run through it, his friends, his kids, his parents, his colleagues. So I got thinking again; where is he? What is he doing? Who is he with? Why hasn’t he read the message I sent at 7.32? Basically, why aren’t I the centre of his universe? 

I’ve read posts before where writers have commented on their annoyance when they get the two blue ticks (indicating the message they sent had been delivered and read) and not received a response. I know I’m not alone in the trauma of whatsapp, or indeed the joy when a response is received immediately. 

However, I also know that this guy hasn’t given me reason to not trust him. I also know from things he’s said that he’s kept an eye on my whatsapp status in the past. Perhaps he was up looking at my ‘online’ status wondering why I said I was tired and was still on whatsapp. Perhaps we are just as bad as each other. Perhaps not. 

Perhaps technology is making having a healthy relationship increasingly difficult. 

Thoughts? Xx