I was out on a lunch date today in a nice pub in a lovely local town. 

We’ve both got kids, have been married and are both apprehensive about relationships and getting fully involved in one. We are both aware that emotions make things messy. 

This is true not just for ourselves but also for our children. 

In the pub the background music was a series of voices we recognised but songs that we didn’t. I was happily munching on my apple pie and custard when my date said “did you hear that? Listen to the lyrics in this song!”. 

As I’m obedient by nature (🤔🤥) I did as I was told. This is what I heard:

Sometimes mums and dads fall out of love, sometimes two homes are better than one….yeah you’ll understand, when you love someone…

It’s a song from a parent to their son. The lyrics continue with the various changes a child endures when their parents separate, it’s really quite beautiful and the fact I heard it whilst on a date, with a man in a similar situation to myself, was very fitting. 

This blog isn’t about my children and I’ve avoided talking about them here as I am fiercely protective of them. However, they are part of the dating process and the fact that the effect of the divorce will have much longer lasting consequences for them than it has for me is always on my radar. 

That’s why I won’t be in any rush to introduce them to my latest beau, I don’t understand the mentality of people that do. I think it’s selfish. That’s my opinion, it may not be popular but it is what it is. I’m not willing to play with their hearts like I am my own. I would want to be pretty sure about a future with someone before I bring them home to my kids and if I did, the process would be slow to allow them to adjust. I’m aware that this could be a risk in itself. What if my kids don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like my kids? What if his kids don’t like my kids? All of these ‘what ifs’ to consider. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That to me is preferable to seeing my kids heartbroken all over  again, to having to explain to them that things haven’t worked out and it’s got nothing to do with them. 

Kids deserve better, and so do I. 

Here’s the song https://youtu.be/0Bf3CJZ4hvg