I’ve been out today with my brother to an all day rave (😎🙌🏻🤘🏻), not my usual bag but thought I’d give it a go. It’s still going now but I needed to come home and be Mummy as the kids came home from their day with their Dad.
We
ted off having lunch in a local pub and then I got a bit cold so had a hot chocolate (not so cool 👵🏻) before heading to the rave which was taking place in the city’s cathedral ruins. Was a great atmosphere from the off and the people were chatty and happy. I’m used to being the first on the dance floor so it was nice to go somewhere where people were up dancing at 3.30pm!

While we were there my brother and I bumped into some people who lived near to us as kids and one of them was in my year at secondary school. It was nice to see him, we follow each other on social media but it was good to chat in person. We got talking about our kids and he hadn’t realised I was divorced. He was saying that he and his ex (mother of his children) are very amicable and he sees the kids whenever he wants. Very similar to my set up with my ex.

We continued to chat about life and I asked him what happened with his ex, he said that they had a very open relationship but that she had lied to him about something and he couldn’t abide lies so it was over. He told me a few things that had gone on in his open relationship with the mother of his children. I don’t regard myself as a prude but I was shocked.

I asked him if either of them ever got jealous of what the other one got up to. He said no as they both went home to each other so what did it matter?

What?!

I think it matters a lot.

I asked him if he would ever want a monogamous relationship and he said that both men and women have needs that can’t always be met by their partners so he has no expectation of monogamy, so long as they are open about it and tell each other.

This isn’t how I want to live. I don’t usually judge others for their choices but I can’t imagine a scenario where I would personally be happy living like this. He was with a couple of other people who basically agreed that this is how things are these days. He even said ” you must have figured out that men are knobs by now!”.

Now I know this situation was mutually agreeable for both of them. I know that often women too can behave like knobs. What I’ve experienced of the dating world recently is that there is a massive fear or refusal of commitment. I was starting to think I’ve just had an unlucky run so far but now I’m wondering if the happily ever afters that some of my friends have are the unobtainable dream. I’m wondering if people just settle for someone and put up with this 💩 because they don’t want to be alone. I’m genuinely worried that I might end up as that person that settles. Loneliness is a human state we all strive to avoid.

There’s a saying that goes like this:

No man is an island

I think I’d rather be an island than be sharing my borders with several other, usually prettier, younger, more curvaceous countries!