Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!!!

It’s dawned on me recently that despite my marriage and a couple of other long term relationships, I’m not sure if I’ve ever been ‘in love’.

What even is that? How does one know? What if my ‘in love’ is different to my partners idea of what being ‘in love’ is?

I certainly am capable of strong feelings for another person. I’m definitely capable of lust for another person. I can even manage to love someone. But I still don’t know what ‘In love’ is.

I was chatting to a friend in Costa yesterday and got onto the subject. Like most of my friends, she’s happily married with 2 young children. I was asking her about her relationship with her husband and she was explaining that they really compliment each other in every way. From how they parent, their career choices, their interests, personalities, how they tease each other and of course; in the bedroom. She said that her husband annoys her and they don’t always get much time together but despite that, they are really happy and very much ‘in love’ after many years together.

I told her I’m not sure if I ever have been ‘in love’ and she looked at me as if I’d just told her I was an alien.

A couple of weeks prior to this, I’d visited another happily married friend. We were taking about love and what it means. She suggested that perhaps love is different with different partners and different with age. This made me feel better, maybe i do knowwhat love is?

All I know for sure is that at times I’ve been incredibly hurt and I’m guessing that if I didn’t love at all, I couldn’t be hurt at all.

I’m hoping that love exists and that I’m worthy of it x