It’s holiday season, there’s been a heatwave, I’m about to board a plane to Greece for a week. I’ve got to get my body out. I’m dreading it.

It’s no secret that I’m not a big fan of my body. I don’t know many women who are. I was chatting to one of my friends about weight and bums and boobs, she’s a size 8-10 like me. We’ve decided we both have some sort of body dysmorphia. She moans about her weight and I look at her and think she looks incredible. I moan about my weight and people look at me as if they’d like to gauge my eyes out with a spoon. Both of us acknowledge that we are not heavy women, and can understand that people may get pee’d off when a pair of size 10 women say they’re fat. We get that. Logically that makes sense.

However, we have been conditioned to not be happy with ourselves.

I was having a family meal in the pub the other day and my nephew was playing with some toys there. I went to join him and picked up a bedraggled looking Barbie doll. I found myself looking at her thinking that I NEED to look like that. I was wondering why I don’t look like that. Then it dawned on me…I must have looked at my barbie and Cindi dolls as a little girl and had my expectations shaped as to how I would look as a woman. Just like I’ve watched Disney and assumed I’d get my fairytale happy ending.

Oh man…ruined by Disney, ruined by Bridget Jones and now; ruined by Barbie!

Now we know as adults that the Barbie body is not achievable without extensive surgery. We know that if she were real that she would find it very difficult to stand up. We know that she ISN’T REAL!!!

So why do we see so many women trying to be like her? Myself included. I don’t know, I’m just rambling. I wish I could love my body. I wish I could stop comparing myself to others. I wish I could embrace who I am now.

The sad truth is I can’t.

I heard a saying recently: we compare the worst of ourselves with the best of others.

This is true in all aspects of life. Motherhood. Career. Houses. Money in the bank. Pertness of bottom and boobs. Shape of legs. Clearness of skin. Size of nose. Cuteness of children. 🤔🤦🏼‍♀️😩🤨🧐

This needs to stop. Once I’ve figured out how we can do this, I’ll get back to you.

For now, I’m going on holiday, I’m going to put on a bikini, I’m going to worry about my cellulite and baby belly and I’m probably going to burn! But I’m going to make precious memories with my babies and that’s what matters most 😘👩‍👧‍👦 x